Keeping Healthy Relationships

Keeping a Healthy Marriage with a Busy Lifestyle

We got married! Woo Hoo! Yee Haw! It’s all going to be just dandy from here on out! *rewind the movie set noise*
Just kidding!

​Theres a lot to marriage that nobody tells you about, either because they are trying to be nice, trying not to scare you, or maybe you just don’t have someone like that in your life to tell you. ​

I love my husband, he’s my best friend and I wouldn’t trade him for anything. I really don’t know what I would do without him.
He is truly an amazing human! 

BUT I know a lot of people who don’t have that in their marriage, or their relationship, and want that. 

It is hard to have a good marriage sometimes, but I will say, it is pretty easy most of the time. 

We got started when we were just in high school and have been a solid couple ever since, which I thank God and our families, for being such a good support system!

Here are the 4 main things in my marriage that I believe keep us going:

Communication

Freakin’ communicate with each other! It’s not hard, put aside your grudges and your pride and talk.
Now, don’t confuse this with yelling or getting in an argument, this is supposed to be a civil conversation where both people have a chance to express their feelings and figure out how to continue doing life together. 

I will be the first to admit I am very good at holding a grudge and can’t always communicate right away, I need my space and so does he. This happens over time, and with time you both will start to realize that whatever you’re not communicating about is not worth your relationship, or the 10+ grand you spent on a wedding, however you want to think of it. 

Communication should be simple. If your partner can’t handle you expressing your feelings and trying to work through life, well you probably should either figure out how to do that or tell them to take the scenic route. 

A wedding is not for the glitz and glam, and the showing off, and the party, some might say it is, but there is so much more. Your ceremony should be the highlight of the wedding, so all of those people that you truly love and are apart of your life can witness you and your partner vow to each other the rest of your lives.

This is the whole point in the day right…to get married. Now listen, I’m all for the party afterwards but in the initial scheme of things your vows is the start of your communication for the rest of your lives. 

In a busy life you HAVE TO COMMUNICATE, whether this is just about picking up the kids, the dogs vet appointment, a meeting, the holidays, or running a farm. If you don’t have communication you might as well be working with a wall.

Trust

I have said from the beginning, if you don’t  have trust you don’t have a relationship.

You don’t want to be constantly worrying about where they are, what they’re doing, who they’re with, etc. And none of this should be an issue!

This starts with loyalty.

You shouldn’t have to question whether or not your partner is being loyal to you.

Trusting them and loving them should be your priority and there’s as well.

In a busy life this is especially important, if both of y’all are constantly on the go and not always with each other you have to trust that they are where they say they are, and they are doing what they said they’re going to do.

I’ve learned that Christmas time and birthdays are the exception to this rule…it’s just not the time of year to ask questions. Hahaha!

Put aside your jealousy, put aside your past screwups, and be loyal and trustworthy in this relationship and build a solid foundation in your marriage and don’t let is crack throughout your lives together. 

Help Each Other Out

Im going to split this into two parts one for the ladies and one for the men because apparently people’s relationships are very different than ours and people don’t think they can do the others work… pshhtt 

Ladies…you cannot be afraid to get your hands dirty every once in a while. A man wants someone that will help him in the garage, in the barn, or work on the house every once in a while.
Don’t pull a “oh a just got my nails done” all the time on him.
It is your job in the relationship to help him out when he needs help, just like he helps you!

Mow the grass, weed eat the lawn, spread the rock or mulch, fill the feed containers, go get the mail when it’s raining, hole the flashlight when its late at night and he’s trying to fix the four wheeler, replace the whole house filter, clean out the drain, etc. Stuff that he would normally do.

Now on the flip side, ask him to help you clean the house, make dinner, bathe the dogs, etc. 

Men…take a hint when your woman just got home from work and still has a dirty house, the dogs need fed, dinner needs made, dishes need done, laundry needs folded, etc.

You are completely allowed to sit on the couch and relax when you get home because I’m sure you worked hard and had a rough day, but so did she.

You both work for the paychecks to pay your bills together, so work as a team when you both get home to get everything in line so you can both sit on the couch and relax after a long day at work and then an hour or two of home work and dinner. 

A relationship should be 50/50.

You both put in the effort to work to pay bills, you both work outside, and you both work inside to make your house feel like home. Make your partner realize that you are in it for the long haul and that they aren’t alone in any aspect of life.

Sometimes it may feel less than that, it may feel like its 70/30 or 80/20 or 60/40…sometimes if one gets sick, if your woman is pregnant or is in postpartum, if work has them staying late…it is ok every once is a while for the other to pick up the slack, BUT return the favor later. 

I told my husband from the beginning, I am NOT your mother, so don’t make me feel like that.

There is no doubt in my mind that I will come home mad because the house is dirty and there are things to do, but that is ok…every once in a while.

In a busy life helping each other out is HUGE! You don’t want to feel like you’re at this alone, I mean if you wanted to be alone why did you get married? Put your big girl/boy pants on and do the task you never wanted to do. Work with each other on your honey-do-list. 

Have Fun

We are young and we want to enjoy being young, before life, work, kids, animals, etc. feels like it is taking over our life.

Maybe you’re already to that spot where you think there is no turning back down the fun route…you’re wrong.

​Stop what you’re doing and plan a trip to somewhere you’ve never been before! You deserve to go and enjoy life, work is not everything! 

This doesn’t have to be difficult, and maybe your version of fun as a couple looks a little different than this…hey I’m trying to stay PG here. 

Taking time away from your busy life is crucial!

Your body and mind needs a time to relax and not think about work, or your home for just a little while. Your relationship also depends on this time that is not serious and is just enjoyable.

If you can’t relax and be goofy in your relationship,  y’all need to lighten up!

I know I only said 4 things, but last but certainly not least what I believe keeps our relationship alive is the Good Lord Almighty!

We pray…a lot, but we also say thank you, a lot!

We sometimes slack from reading the Bible or going to church, but even in a busy life we find time to listen to God.

Have faith that your relationship and your marriage is in great hands. 

You are in control of your life, but you’ll never know what God’s plan is. 

Trust in him, Communicate with your partner, Help Each Other Out, and Have Fun in life! 

Don’t let the rush of life take over your hard earned time.